We have had a few people ask us why we are not adopting domestically, so I thought I would address that with this post. The simplest answer is we fell in love with this particular little girl and feel like she is ours and that God is telling us to go get her. But there are other, more complicated reasons as well. Most of the children available for adoption in the U.S. right now are older children. These children deserve families just as much as the younger ones, but since our children are both small, we did not want to disrupt the birth order by adopting a child older than our oldest child (3).
In the U.S. there is a 2-3 year wait to adopt a baby, so we just do not see as much of a need for babies and toddlers. We are so thankful to live in a country with a waiting list for babies who need homes! How amazing is that? We thought about doing foster to adopt because toddlers will frequently become available, but we were concerned about the emotional impact on our children of possibly having a 'sibling' go back to their birth parents.
So for us, at this time in our lives, we decided that international adoption was the best fit.
I have to say that it does hurt my heart when people ask me this question. I know they don't mean any harm and are genuinely curious. But because I already consider this little girl to be my daughter, it feels as if they are questioning whether she deserves a family, as if any child could be more deserving of love than another. And this brings out my mama bear instinct. I'm trying hard to reign that instinct in because I realize people don't know how this question makes me feel. Hopefully this explanation will head off a few of those questions.