Friday, October 14, 2011

Why international adoption?

We have had a few people ask us why we are not adopting domestically, so I thought I would address that with this post. The simplest answer is we fell in love with this particular little girl and feel like she is ours and that God is telling us to go get her. But there are other, more complicated reasons as well. Most of the children available for adoption in the U.S. right now are older children. These children deserve families just as much as the younger ones, but since our children are both small, we did not want to disrupt the birth order by adopting a child older than our oldest child (3).

In the U.S. there is a 2-3 year wait to adopt a baby, so we just do not see as much of a need for babies and toddlers. We are so thankful to live in a country with a waiting list for babies who need homes! How amazing is that? We thought about doing foster to adopt because toddlers will frequently become available, but we were concerned about the emotional impact on our children of possibly having a 'sibling' go back to their birth parents.

So for us, at this time in our lives, we decided that international adoption was the best fit.

I have to say that it does hurt my heart when people ask me this question. I know they don't mean any harm and are genuinely curious. But because I already consider this little girl to be my daughter, it feels as if they are questioning whether she deserves a family, as if any child could be more deserving of love than another. And this brings out my mama bear instinct. I'm trying hard to reign that instinct in because I realize people don't know how this question makes me feel. Hopefully this explanation will head off a few of those questions.


  1. Marj,

    How cool that you and Ryan are looking to go on this journey. Would love to hear more. Sorry I'm not on FB enough to know more about the story. Wish you guys the best and miss you a ton! Pat and I are expecting our 1st, Walter in a month-ish!!

    love you guys,

  2. Nuh-uh, I am so excited for the two of you, Leah! You will be awesome parents!

  3. I hate that question, too. Kids in the US need homes and kids outside the US need homes. I just don't think most people understand. So many people only see the dollar signs, when they think of international adoption, while others see the kids.